I miss you so much at this point of time. YES, right now! I could really run to your house and get a hug from you because at least I know, someone's here with me in this shitty times.
It just hurts. A.L.O.T! When you know that your own loved one has done stupid things over and over again & its not just you or your family that knows about it. Even if it was so, it's still bearable. Its painful when OUTSIDERS, mind you, come to know about the things you've done. Just think, for once! There you are, doing all sorts of things that you think people wont find out about & here we are, having to keep out mouth's shut because we've come to learn about your acts but because of that respect you once earned from us, we're keeping our mouths shut. It hurts. It really does hurt, more than you can ever imagine. I hate saying this but I'm sorry. From today onwards, dont expect me, at least, to treat you the way I used to do so last time. Its not that I wouldnt forgive you. For the sake of this family, I'm doing so but I'll never be able to forget the text's I read, the calls you made & the words you said. I hate being this way too. I love you so much. I really do. But its not the first time. How many chances do you expect us to give you? We're humans & we feel the effing pain alright! Enough said, im sick and tired of all this effing drama.
Today, girlfriend asked me if I was okay. All I replied was, "sick of the effing drama happening."
Effed up at the moment so dont you dare ask me what the eff happened cus I'll only end up screaming at your face. Im sorry.
*screams so badly*
Dear God,
I'm very very tired. I cant go on putting on a fake smile anymore. I cry myself to sleep thinking about too many things. I wonder just how long will I be able to endure this further. It's fine if you're giving me problems. But dont give them to my family & friends. At the very least, my heart wouldnt hurt deeper.
Worthless? You're NOT. You were never one, you're not one & you NEVER will ever be one. Im happy that you're beginning to change to a better person. We can see it, oh you bet we can, dude. You know that one thing's for sure & that is that we're always here for you no matter how hard your situation becomes. I just wanna tell you this, "Burn the bridges that are behind you, close the doors to the part & tear down the walls that surround you. If not, there is no way you can ever move forward."
God, please make all these shit end soon. Im tired of the effing school, studies, books, words & tears. You know, I could really just come and be with you if you want me to. You know that I could just sleep and really not wake up anymore. I need happiness back once again! Please?
With alot of respect & love,
Amrita.
Sometimes, I miss talking to you so much. I miss how we use to have all the late night chats and how we could go on and on about life all the way till the next morning and how you made me smile each time. I have so much to tell you but I can't because you're out of my life and you've got problems of your own too. I miss how we couldnt be seperated. I miss the laughters. I miss you, TF. But most of all, I miss who I thought you were :(
So yes, it's been a good long time that I've been away from my blog eh? :O
Anyway, exams are finally over & I'm on a holiday mood now, kekeke! I miss too many people & I've gotta catch up with all of them soon. Life's been a race, actually. Everything's happening either too fast or too slow & I really dont know why. Many things have happened between this two-three weeks and I really have no clue on where to start to handle them all.
Oh well, let's just go with the flow and see where we all end up eh?
Goodnight <3
Ps, I love my absolutely hot red nails & my bff, Tash :)
HAI.
I got nothing to say actually. LOL. Exams in 10 days time. OMFG, I'm so NOT ready for it & THERE they are(the teachers) who're topping our work load with MORE TEST'S! I've like FOUR test in one week. PATHETIC or whut? :(
& I miss all my bestfriends, esp D, H & G <3 Oh TF too, hehe <3
Oryte, imma go study nao.
